Dating Over 50 Women: How to Stop “Broken Heart Syndrome” From Happening Over and Over Again

If you’re a woman over 50 who finds your heart broken by men over and over again, its time to get rid of them and begin to live a new life from now on.

Loretta was so tired of being disappointed by the men she was dating.  After finding each other online, she met Patrick at a bar for their first date. They’d spend hours laughing on the phone and had such a good time together.

They had a couple of great dates and then… the red flags started popping up everywhere about this man, and the great dating relationship she thought she had began to sour.

Loretta was so frustrated and tired of dating men who were losers.  She wanted to know how she could start telling the good guys from the bad ones.

She wanted to stop her continuous “broken heart syndrome” of liking men who ultimately didn’t turn out to be who she thought they were.

What’s going on here happens everyday in the dating world.  When men and women first meet, both have brought the best of themselves to the dating table.  It’s a little bit like a play where actors are pretending to be someone else.

We all put our best foot forward on a first date because we want to appear wonderful to the person sitting across from us so they will like who we are. So we find ourselves falling in love during those first few dates with that wonderful person we think we are getting to know.

But what’s really happening is we are falling in love with an idea of who we think this man is. And our idea does not necessarily match the reality of the man himself. And that’s when we find ourselves disappointed. Its like we woke up from a dream and found a nightmare staring at us instead.

Let’s face it…anyone can be an actor for an hour, a day and even a couple of weeks or months but no one can sustain first date behavior forever. Over time, our true personalities start coming out and that is what Loretta was seeing with the men she went out with.

You can’t judge a book by its cover. It takes quite a while to be able to figure out who a man really is. But there are signs you can watch for in the behavior he shows you that is going to help you identify the Good Guys from the Not So Good Guys out there.

A Non Quality Man will…

• Be abrupt with you.  Maybe he cuts you off and doesn’t let you voice your opinions or maybe he totally disregards your feelings.
• He’s secretive; meaning he purposely avoids answering questions about different parts of his life and you know he’s hiding something but can’t quite put your finger on it.
• He’s condescending. He is laughing at you – not with you and telling you that you aren’t enough, whether it’s being smart enough or pretty enough or thin enough. He makes you feel not okay about who you are.
• He’s evasive, which means he’ll change the subject or laugh it off saying we’ll talk about it later but he never does. Frustrating right?

On the other hand, a Quality Man is…

• Both honest and loyal, wanting to share his life with you.
• He wants to make you happy and part of that is telling you how wonderful you are and how much you mean to him.
• He walks his talk, meaning he follows through on whatever he tells you he’ll do to the best of his ability.
• He’s eager to hear about and be a part of your life.

I hope this guide helps you in the future with the men you meet.  Take it slow and be careful of getting too emotionally attached before you really know who a man is.

Let me know if you’ve ever had a man turn into someone totally different then you thought he was. You can post your comments below.

6 Tips for Dating Over 50 Women

• Needy’s no good
  
  If your date is too needy, there’s something wrong. They aren’t interested in a relationship, they’re interested in a fling. That’s fine for some women, but it just isn’t for me. I’m interested in a relationship: getting to know a person and caring about a person and having a pleasant relationship with a person.

• Be very gracious If you know from the start that you’re not interested in your date, stand up, shake the person’s hand, wish them the best of luck in their dating experiences, and move on. Don’t be embarrassed about doing that. You know whether it’s going to be right or not.
  With a gentleman that I fell madly in love with, a film director, we sat for three hours talking and didn’t want to stop. With another gentleman, Jumpsuit Jim, I think his name is in the book, it was after eleven minutes that I knew, “No, this guy’s not for me,” and I just got up, shook his hand, and wished him the best of luck.
  
  


• Enjoy the difference
  There’s a big difference between dating as a teenager and dating as a vibrant woman. It is much more liberating the second time around. You don’t have to worry about having kids (at least I didn’t), which is a huge relief. And I just feel that I have so much more sexual freedom than when I was younger. I’m not sure why. I adored my husband. We had a great relationship, but the second time around has been much more liberating. It goes back to my savoring every day and having as much fun as I possibly can. And I don’t want you to think that I’m a senior tramp. I’m not. I’ve been very selective in the few men that I’ve had relationships with.

• Take it slow, but be open to all possibilities
  At some point, when the grieving subsided, I thought, “I can’t imagine ever dating again. I can’t imagine getting naked with another man. I can’t imagine falling in love with someone again.” The thought of getting under the covers with a guy again? Oh, god. You know, my body wasn’t the same — isn’t the same — as what it was when I was 24. And, you know what? You learn that if the love is there, the trust is there, it’s wonderful.

• Don’t have a sexual encounter until you’re sure you’re ready
  Contrary to popular belief, there’s no “magic date number,” the number of times you go out with someone before they expect sex. That’s a really personal decision, and it’s dependent on the chemistry between two people. In the book, I talk about Stud Muffin One, the first guy who I really had a relationship with after my husband died. I felt guilty holding hands! He was 12 years younger than me, and by the third or fourth date he had other things on his mind. I wasn’t ready, so I broke up with him after about two months of dating.

We did get back together again, and the first time I invited him over for dinner, I was no longer the widow virgin. But it’s a very personal decision.
Be prepared in other ways, too. There are so many STDs out there, just be really, really careful. And trust. You have to know the person enough to trust the person.



• Trust your gut
  We all have instincts, and you have to follow your instincts and be open to a possibility. I met some wonderful, wonderful guys. I’m still best friends with one guy, Studmuffin Two. We talk all the time and we’re just best friends still, and we always will be. We’re not romantically involved anymore, but it was the beginning of a great friendship. At one point we made a deal to marry one another if we were both single in five years. Well, it’s been longer than five years now, but we still talk about it. That was one of my cougar experiences. He was 11 years younger than myself, which has many, many advantages, and some disadvantages. And the disadvantages are that he had a child to put through college, which is finally graduating this year, but he’s still working, and needs to work and wants to work, so he doesn’t have time for a long-term relationship. He happens to be in the film business and travels a great deal, and will spend three months in Japan and then a month in Paris. It’s hard to cement a long-term relationship when someone’s not there. But who knows what the future will be.
  
  
  Dating is better now but if you live in your house and he lives in his, then you can imagine how wonderful is your friendship.   ----- Joan Price

5 Tips For Over 50 Women Date With A New Man

Tip #1 Leave Your Past in the Past


In college, the motto my friends and I always lived by was, “what happens at college stays at college.”  The same goes for your ex on a first date.  Leave him out of the conversation other than to say you were married and divorced. Men consider ex bashing or troubles with the ex too much drama to deal with at this early stage of the dating game.


Tip #2 Don’t Give out Too Much Information about Yourself on a First Date

Often we think we are doing ourselves a favor giving a man too much information about ourselves on a first date so he has it all before he makes up his mind about dating us. First Dates are nothing more then meet and greets to determine if you’d like to get to know each other better.
Plus, information a man can handle further in the dating cycle is totally different then what he wants or needs to know on a first date.  Remember, you are not your problems, so he doesn’t need to know them at this point.

Tip #3 Be Sure Talking is Balanced Between the Two of You

When people are nervous they have a tendency to jibber jabber on and on about themselves to fill the silent gaps.  This doesn’t work well on a date.  In fact, it’s quite boring for the other person listening to the monologue.
Be sure to ask a man a lot of questions.  If you find yourself talking continuously for more then a minute or two without him saying a word, then be aware that you are probably over talking.
A first date is a time for sharing a lot of surface information about your likes and interests on different topics.  Your goal is to find common threads between you to see if you want to take this to a second date.

Tip #4 Be Present During Your Date

Put your cell phone away so you can really engage in a conversation with the man you’re with.  A man wants to feel as if you are interested in getting to know him and that he is more important then anything your phone might be showing you in the moment.  Plus, as we age multitasking is a lot harder to do.  You’ll probably find you didn’t hear a word he said if you’re on your phone, texting during your date. And it’s pretty embarrassing to look up over your reading glasses and say, “Could you please repeat that?”

Tip #5  Put Your Most Feminine Side Forward on that First Date and Let Him Be the Man

We as women are so used to taking care of others and anticipating their needs that we forget and automatically start trying to make life easier for the man sitting across the table from us on a first date. Stop yourself before it starts!
Let him take care of the bad service you are getting or the bad food.  Don’t tell him how he should have handled a situation and for sure don’t criticize him for what he eats or how he walks or talks. If you find you don’t like this man, then walk away.  Don’t settle.  There is someone else out there better suited for you.